Because I have the gift of seeing the good in everyone and their potential, it takes me a while to remove myself from these men’s lives. I have this inherent need to help them get to the next step, to state the obvious (well obvious for me) and assist in coaching them to meet their up most potential.
It never works. They either end up shutting down or running away.
What I have learned is; it is not my job to save them. It’s my job to insure I am doing MY work and getting to where I need to be. You cannot do the work someone else is meant to do. They will get there if/when they’re meant to. No amount of pushing or coaching will help get them where they need to be any sooner.
You can only be there to love and support them within your relationship. If that relationship falters and is no longer working for you, it’s time to let go (you will feel and know when you have had enough). The right person for you will come back around, if it’s meant to. If it does not come back around, it’s not meant for you.
It’s hard to see someone you care about struggle through a life event. All you want to do is be there for them and take that pain away. But that pain is there for a reason, to teach them a lesson and to get them where they need to be, in their own perfect time.
Learning to accept that each person has their own individual path and you cannot save them or speed up their own unique process, has been a huge eureka moment for me.
It’s not your job to save someone. Focus on yourself and getting to where you need to be, everyone that is meant to be in your life will meet you there.