We’ve all done it at some point in our lives; comparing ourselves to another. But most of the time the only real result that comes about from comparing yourself to others is feelings of self-doubt, jealousy, depression and low self-esteem.
Comparing yourself to others can truly bring out the worst in you especially if you’re comparing yourself against another to make you feel better. This tactic breeds hostility and jealousy, where gossip and mean-spirited agendas can ensue. Often times when someone is insecure they try to bring other people down by focusing on that person’s perceived imperfections. These tactics are transparent and frankly tasteless. It distracts you from focusing on your own goals and can confuse the good qualities you have.
Keep in mind when you’re comparing yourself to another the information you think you’re receiving is seldom completely accurate. Even if you think you want to be that happy couple smiling and walking hand in hand down the street, you don’t know what is truly going on in their lives. You have an unrealistic view of reality, all based on interpretation. You cannot validate yourself through comparing your life to another and certainly not based on deficient or incomplete information.
There’s no harm in looking to others as motivators for goals and values you have established for yourself, as long as you have a clear boundary on what will make you, and you alone happy and most fulfilled in this life.
For example, I want to be a respected, famous transformational non-fiction book writer, coach and blogger. Comparing myself to all the successful transformational writers and coaches out there would be exceptionally overwhelming. Instead, I have great mentors around me that provide me with support, tools and techniques that I can in turn use to best suit my own unique personal goals and aspirations.
Being clear on what is most important to you first and foremost will allow you to discern and learn from the talents of others to be used in the best possible way to meet your own goals.
Wasting time comparing yourself to others only delays you from becoming the best possible version of you, and there is only one of you. How special and cool is that?