Archive for he disappeared

Questioning, Am I Good Enough? What If You’re Already Good Enough?

Charming young brunette.

I have myself questioned, Am I good enough? when a guy has decided to walk away from me, or simply ignored me.   I made the mistake of putting so much of my self-worth in another person, that I really was not sure at times that I was good enough when a guy decided not to be with me.  This caused me often to tailspin, brought about anxiety, overanalyzing and feelings of worthlessness.

Seems like a lot of power to give away to one-person right?  Because I put so much emphasis on this guy liking me, I temporarily lost sight of myself and who I was.  I lost the love for what made me special and unique.  I let this guy essentially decide for me that I was disposable which caused me to question, Am I good enough?

After spending more time with myself, learning about what brought passion into my life and what made me truly happy, I started to learn these feelings that were brought about by these broken relationships were really not about him, but me.  I needed to love myself first before I could truly recognize that I was already good enough.

I have dated guys before that actively pursued me, basically convinced me they were ready for a relationship, then pulled a houdini on me.  They would stop talking to me, ignore my calls when I tried to clarify what was going on and flat-out disappeared from my life out of the blue.

Now, instead of wasting my time overanalyzing the situation, I say, thank you.  I no longer question, Am I good enough?  I now know it. 

These men were just not the men I wanted or needed.  I am looking for someone who can communicate and be present.  Their choice to walk away had nothing to do with my actions or who I was as a person.

For the right man, you’re already way MORE than enough!  You’re the best!  You could be the prettiest, smartest, funniest woman in the world, but if this guy isn’t ready or isn’t the one for you, it doesn’t matter: he won’t want you!  But your looks, your smarts and everything about you, will be perfect for the right man.

I love this article by Eric Charles, “He Dumped Me But I Want Him Back.” Check it out for a guy’s perspective.


Ask Yourself This Important Dating Question About HIM

Posted 12/15/14 by Sarah Kotz and filed under:

Fashionable young brunette.

Is he doing what he needs to do in order to be with me?

This is the dating question I have asked myself before and would challenge you to ask when unsure about the status of your relationship.

Everyone has their own wants, needs and expectations of a relationship.  Are you just accepting scraps or are you being treated how you want to be treated?  That is really only something you know.

I’ve dated guy’s who were so very into things, only to disappear and then continuously reappear.  I would get a text here and there, asking me how I was or even wanting to hang out.  There were times when I would take this contact as a significant sign these guy’s were still into me or even wanted to get back together.  But it was only a scrap.  Most of the time, there would be a small amount of contact and then they would disappear again.

So I started to ask myself this dating question; Is he doing what he needs to do in order to be with me?

The answer 99% of the time was unequivocally, “No.”

These guys were not showing up for me.  I want someone who wants to have more contact than once a month, or once a week for that matter.  I want a man, not some wishy-washy guy who doesn’t know what he wants.  So why waste my time?

You shouldn’t either.

When a guy wants to be with you, he will make it happen.  If the timing is off, it’s best to let him go and if it’s right, it will come back around to you in perfect time. In the meantime, don’t wait around or create fantasies for situations that frankly don’t even remotely meet your ideal standard.

Don’t let yourself chase or pine after someone who hasn’t even earned your time of day.

Set this one free ladies, scraps are for dogs.