Archive for overanalyzing your dating relationship

Waiting For Him To Call You Or Message You?

Some food for thought when you’re waiting for him to call you or message you:

  • Whether or not he calls you or messages you should not make or break your life. If he doesn’t call or message you, you will find someone who will.
  • Why are you waiting around for him to call you or message you? Get busy. Do something to distract yourself. Time is not going to pass any faster by sitting by the phone.
  • Stop trying to read too much into patterns of communication. Just because he wrote you every hour of every day last week, doesn’t mean this week is going to look the same. Life has ebbs and flows. Don’t always base whether or not you think you’re going to hear from a guy on patterns of communication.  Not hearing from him for few hours or a day doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll never hear from him again. As best you can, try to relax and not put time pressures on the evolution of your relationship.
  • What are you waiting for? In cases where you want to talk and are just questioning if you should message or call him, why can’t you talk? Why does he always have to be the one initiating? If you never initiate, how is this guy ever going to know you like him? It’s OK to initiate from time to time. If you feel like talking, call him or message him. I’m sure he would love to hear from you.
  • Stop trying to interpret his social media while you’re waiting for him to call you or message you. It’s interpretive. Unless you hear from him directly, do not make assumptions.
  • Try not to overanalyze the last time you talked or saw him. The last thing you said or talked about ultimately will not make or break a relationship that is meant to be.
  • If you don’t hear back from him, it’s his loss. You don’t want someone who isn’t going to talk or make an effort with you.

Why You Can’t Mess It Up With The Right Guy (Video)

Worried you messed it up on that most recent date with a guy?  Scared you will not hear from him again?

In this video, I talk about why you can’t mess it up with the right guy!

 

 

Have a burning question you want me to address in my next video highlight?

Send me your question here!

Sometimes, It’s Not All About You

Depositphotos_23340328_mSometimes, it’s not all about you.

One of the most anxiety provoking things we can do when things are not going well in our dating lives, is make it about us.

It becomes this perpetual cycle where the outcome of all our relationships is our fault. If you were good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, he would be with you, right?

Sometimes, it’s not all about you.

He may cheat on you because he has some sort of imbedded insecurities, is not ready for a relationship or you two are not meant to be together, not necessarily because you’re not good enough.

Your relationship may not have worked out because the timing was off or he wasn’t the right one, it’s not because you’re not good enough.

Dating and relationships are tough and take work, that is not under debate. It’s important to know what you bring to the table and be self-aware enough to know what you still have to work on. But when you put all the onus of the outcome of your relationships on your own head, it starts to plant seeds of insecurity and before you know it, you begin to believe that if you were good enough, he would be with you.

There are a lot of factors that are involved in if a relationship is successful or not, including, readiness and timing. Some of these factors you ultimately have no control over.

Dating takes two equal contributors and sometimes it really just comes down to those two contributors just were not right for each other.

Making everything about you creates a downward spiral of mistrust and insecurity in your mind.

All you can do is be yourself and put your best foot forward in your dating relationships. Be you.

If things don’t work out, talk about it with that person if you can, learn from it and move forward. If there are things you want to improve upon, do it but don’t make everything “bad” that happens to you, about you.

Sometimes, things fall apart and there is nothing we can do about it.

Dwelling and overanalyzing about what we could have done differently really takes away our freedom to move forward and love ourselves.

Sometimes, it’s really not all about you.

 

 

How To Stop Overanalyzing Your Dating Relationship And Live Your Life

Posted 01/26/15 by Sarah Kotz and filed under:

Girl thinking over white

When you initially start dating someone it’s easy to get caught up in overanalyzing your dating relationship. Instead of embracing and living in the moment, women often get caught up in worrying about where the relationship is going, if he is dating someone else and when and if you should call him or initiate conversation.

Like many, it can be even harder if you have had some bad failed relationships before.  It’s pretty much a given that you will most likely carry some triggers into your next relationship that could breed some initial insecurity.  It’s important to be conscious of these triggers, acknowledge them but be aware as to not let old feelings ruin new potentially positive relationships.

If you’re worrying about whether or not to text a guy you’re newly dating, you’re thinking about it too much.  

Take a breath and stop over analyzing your dating relationship.

If you want to talk to him, talk to him.  If you entirely pull back and play games by always having him initiate he’s going to pick up on what you are doing and most likely lose interest.  Just be yourself and talk when you want to talk.  The timing of your text and what you say when you text really is not going to make or break your relationship with someone.

Next, for the first few dates with your guy you’re really just getting to know him. Don’t worry about if he’s dating someone else or not, if he really wants to be with you, those girls will fall off anyway (whether they exist or not).  If you’re that concerned if the guy you are seeing is dating someone else, it’s OK to ask.  There is nothing wrong with having open dialogue with the guy you’re dating.  Just be prepared for whatever direction the answer takes you.  Most guys will tell you the truth and if he doesn’t, well you will eventually find out and then you can ditch him for being the douche that he is.  At the end of the day, I will repeat again, if this guy wants to be with you, he will ditch all the girls he was initially talking to and/or dating when he met you and do everything he can to ensure you feel confident in your relationship with him.

The best advice I can give you if you find yourself spinning out of control and overanalyzing your dating relationship is:

1.  Do Not Read Into Things

This is easier said then done but your guys actions and words will speak for itself, not everything has a hidden meaning or message.  Trust your gut and do not look for things that do not exist.  If he says he will call, he will call.  And if he doesn’t call, well then you have your answer; he’s not the one.

2.  Be In The Moment

Take things day by day with your new guy and really get to know him.  You’re choosing him just as much as he’s choosing you.  You will soon find out where things are going and if this relationship has serious potential.

3.  Communicate  

If you’re really questioning your relationship and the guys motives, talk to him.  There is no sense guessing where your relationship stands when you can easily find the answers by asking.  Note, this is after a few dates and you have acquired some sort of standing relationship with this guy, it’s too soon to ask where you stand after only one date.  Talk to him when it feels right not just because you’re triggering.

The more time you spend overanalyzing your dating relationship and your actions, you jip yourself and the guy you’re dating of getting to know the real you and having fun!  No one wants to date someone who is stressed out all the time and can’t be themselves.   Focus your time and energy on this fun and exciting time of getting to know someone and everything will fall in place how it’s meant to.